I had a call this week with a potential client asking for a workshop on accountability. Specifically, they wanted their middle managers to get better at holding their teams accountable.
As we talked, it got me thinking about a nuance I see regularly.
We tend to treat accountability like discipline instead of support. Like it’s something you do to people instead of something you build with them.
We want our teams to have difficult conversations, but forget that people don’t learn from what senior leaders say, they learn from what we model.
I’ve watched way too many leaders move underperforming employees to different departments instead of having the conversation. I’ve seen people stay silent when someone made an inappropriate comment because it was easier to avoid the conflict. And, I’ve seen teams reshuffle priorities over and over because no one wanted to be the one to say, “We’re not doing that.”
Admittedly, I’ve done all of these. I’ve looked away, kept quiet, convinced myself it would get better on its own.
If you want your team to lean into conversations around accountability, you have to show them what that looks like.
But here’s an unpopular opinion:
If you think you have an accountability problem, the first place to look is the mirror.
If accountability is breaking down in the middle, something’s missing at the top.
- When we don’t model direct, compassionate accountability
- When we don’t provide our younger or less experienced leaders the coaching support they need
- When we ignore the emotional weight of it all because it’s uncomfortable
That’s when people retreat to the safest place they can find — silence, avoidance, blame, defensiveness.
This client asked for training on something called the Accountability Ladder, which I don’t typically teach.
The Accountability Ladder is a visual tool that helps leaders and teams understand the difference between accountable behaviors and avoidant behaviors. It’s often used to surface where someone (or a team) is operating when it comes to ownership and follow-through.
It’s usually divided into two sections:
Below the Line (Avoidance/Blame)
This is where people tend to abdicate responsibility. Common rungs here include:
- Denial/Ignore it — “This isn’t my problem.”
- Blame others — “They didn’t tell me what to do.”
- Excuse it — “I was too busy.”
- Wait and hope — “Maybe it’ll work itself out.”
Above the Line (Ownership/Accountability)
This is where people take ownership and act. Common rungs here include:
- Acknowledge reality — “Here’s what’s really happening.”
- Own it –“This is on me.”
- Find solutions— “Let’s figure this out.”
- Take action — “I’m doing something about it.”
It’s good at spotting what people do. It rarely explains why they’re doing it.
If you really want to create change, you have to look below the surface.
Here’s what might be driving those behaviors underneath.
Below the Line (Avoidance/Blame)
- Denial/Ignore it — Fear of being blamed or shamed, resentment
- Blame others — Protection of self-worth, fear of consequences
- Make excuses — Fear of judgment, unclear expectations
- Wait and hope — Powerlessness, low trust, low psychological safety
Above the Line (Ownership/Accountability)
- Acknowledge reality — Requires vulnerability
- Own it — Requires self-trust
- Find a solution — Requires courage and support
- Take action/Make it happen – Where trust and integrity begin to grow
Below the line behaviors are almost always fear-based — fear of blame, shame, judgment, or failure.
Climbing above the line isn’t just about personal willpower, it takes cultural safety, support, and leaders who model what accountability looks like.
The real work happens when we get curious about what’s driving the behavior instead of just trying to fix it.
When someone is making excuses, are they overwhelmed? Unclear on expectations? Afraid of being blamed? When they’re avoiding a conversation, is it because they don’t know how to start it, or because they’ve been burned before?
Final Thought:
And here’s where it gets real:
Accountability without empathy becomes shame.
Accountability without trust becomes threat.
But accountability grounded in trust becomes something else entirely — a signal of belief, a sign of respect and a way of saying, I think you can handle this, and I’ll be right here while you do.
If your team is stuck managing symptoms, let’s talk about what it looks like to go deeper.
Accountability isn’t something people fear, when it’s rooted in trust.
