A friend called me last week, half-laughing, half-horrified. Her usually calm, steady boss had completely lost it in a meeting—snapped at everyone, criticized the entire team, and stormed out mid-sentence. Her reaction? “Honestly, I get it.”
Sound familiar? We’ve all been there.
Leaders are feeling crushed right now—tariffs, markets that won’t stay calm for five minutes, funding drama from every direction. If you haven’t snapped yet, you’ve probably come close. We all have.
Surprise (or Truth We Rarely Admit):
When you “lose it” and that’s not who you usually are, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or a horrible leader. It may mean you’ve been carrying too much, staying strong for too long, and something finally had to give. Losing your cool isn’t failure—it’s feedback. Your body’s way of saying, “Hey, you can’t keep ignoring what’s really going on beneath the surface!”
The Real Reason Good Leaders Snap (It’s Not Just Stress):
When you suddenly blow up or shut down in ways that don’t match who you normally are, it’s almost never about what’s directly in front of you. Usually, something deeper has been building up—like anxiety over layoffs or budgets, exhaustion from relentless uncertainty, fear of letting people down, or frustration that you’re the “only one” who seems to care about how hard things are.
These emotional undercurrents, when left unaddressed, keep getting stronger until they surface—often at the worst possible moment.
Because we rarely talk openly about these pressures, it’s easy to feel you’re the only leader quietly drowning.
(Newsflash: You’re definitely not!)
Signals You’re Close to Losing It (Besides Wanting to Flip a Table):
• Your patience has disappeared. Poof. Gone.
• You catch yourself micromanaging things you previously trusted your team to handle.
• You start avoiding conversations you’d normally handle calmly.
• You feel disconnected or isolated, even when surrounded by people you trust.
What to Actually Say to Your Team (Instead of Storming Out):
• “Can we pause? I think we’re all feeling the pressure. Let’s just name it and talk about it.“
• “This stress is real. What can I do right now that would make things easier for you?“
• “Look, I don’t have all the answers right now either—but I’m here, and we’re in this together.”
Reflection Questions for When You’re About to Snap:
• What pressure am I holding onto that my team probably senses, even if I think they don’t?
• Am I expecting superhuman strength from myself while preaching balance to others?
• What one thing am I not saying that I need to get out in the open right now?
• Is how I’m acting lately aligned with the kind of leader I want to be?
One final thought, great leadership isn’t about always staying composed. It’s about admitting when things are hard, openly addressing what’s really going on, and creating space for your team (and yourself) to be human. You’re human. You’re doing better than you think. And you’re not alone.
If this made you nod, laugh, or feel less alone, forward it right now to another leader who probably needs it as much as you do.
